Mature Love ( Part 2 )

This is certainly a deep subject and I would not assume to completely understand it, but there are some areas that the Lord has brought some understanding. I hope these few insights are helpful.

Growing in love:

We are all on a journey to know the Lord more and more. Individuals who claim they only need the Lord are probably missing the fact that the foundation of His creation (US) is relationships and family. These relationships are both our natural family and church family. Relationships however are a privilege, and to the degree we understand this, and find ourselves with a deep sense of honor, respect, patience and a few other choice adjectives found in 1 Cor 13 we may get the chance to get to know someone as a friend.

1 Cor 13:4-7 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

NKJV

We can read in scripture about love and assume we are to be in these deep and loving relationships with everyone around us, but the reality is deep relationships take time, and certainly to get to know everyone around us intimately is not reality. A heart of passion and love however, will give us greater opportunity to know others. In many cases friendships are a call from the Lord for specific tasks and purposes. Love for all yes, but deep relationships with all may not be possible….

Our Fathers children:

As a Father, I have a deep desire to see my children get along. I am sure the heavenly Father has an even deeper desire to see His children walk in deep and abiding relationships that will affect the world around them. The other area as a father I am very aware of is the protection I feel for my children. I remember a individual speaking harshly to my kids and I knew I needed to address this person to never speak to them that way again. I believe our heavenly Father feels much the same way when His children take liberties to judge, or speak about another in certain tones or presumptions, whether that person is present or not. (I am not talking about the need in leaders meetings to discuss how to care for, or discipline as needed) An area of even more concern is taking liberties into another’s life, or assuming we can just invade a person’s life because of our presumed gifting, or the misunderstanding of what true love is. Of course there are those given a mandate from the Lord to speak into others lives, but take heed what is liberty we take with the Fathers kids. Leaders have only certain privileges as given by the Lord to be involved in another’s life. He is jealous over His children and although scripture is clear where leaders are given care for the sheep they will experience even greater judgment for how they lead them.

Before anyone assumes they have liberties in another persons life, we need to remember that each child of God is our Fathers child first, and those given the Privilege to serve and speak into another’s life must do so with great care!


Prov 12:26 The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray.

Our Fathers and Mothers:

I was reflecting recently how our most senior pastor is received by the body, and in exact contrast how some others who assume they carry great authority and love are received by few, and in most cases people’s spirits reject them because of their presumption about their authority in another persons life. Our Senior Father and other fathers in the church are called, and the very fact that our senior Father birthed the church gives him certain rights by mandate to lead and to speak into the body. There are other Fathers Mothers, and leaders who carry different mandates and spheres of authority to care for and speak into the body. They carry the DNA, or the right seed to impart to others what they carry, however this is only according to a certain order. They have been called and equipped by the Lord with a right spirit and the Fathers heart to care for the flock entrusted to them.

I as a younger Father do not assume I have rights to speak into everyone’s life in the church, nor do I try and be in relationship with everyone, but only to those who the Lord has given to cover me, and in those areas I have been released by the leadership to serve in. There are others who by mutual agreement have developed a friendship as the Lord has led. Now this could sound like some of us are walking in areas that border on the quote “Super spiritual” but I have found the Lord truly does appoint friendships for divine purposes. (More later)

In all other relationships I am at rest and do not try to impose myself upon them. Besides I may be interfering in what another leader or member of the body by the Lords leading is trying to impart.

I remember receiving a call from a acquaintance from another church who was looking for help. I asked him what his leadership team had suggested he do, and whatever they said I completely agree with, and I would not be able to help. We all know individuals who travel from church to church looking for answers when they do not agree with what their own leadership said. The power of love and honor, especially between city pastors and leaders will help stop the divisions some try and bring into the church.

Our Measure:

So what is our measure in another’s life? I heard from a friend recently how he visited a meeting place with some others. Later at breakfast he was sharing some details of his life and some exciting things that happened. Some at the table took it upon themselves to correct and question his choices as though they carried some great authority and weight to speak and correct this brother. Now, there are times the Lord will speak in circumstances like this, but when I asked how he felt he mentioned it was as though they completely invaded his life and took liberties that were not theirs to take. Seems he will not be visiting with these ones any time soon, or at least he said he will not be sharing the details of his life.

Trust is earned, and where another has not given someone place in their life, it should not be presumed we have any rights!

The Lord and His Twelve:

The Lord had his twelve disciples, and yet it seems Peter, James, and John were closer than some others. Scripture also mentions the 70 in Matt 10:17, so we know the Lord had a large group who were with him including women and children at times. It seems however the Lord was closer to some of His disciples. Did he know all of the 70, possibly, but it seems by divine purpose and strategy He was closer to John, the other two apostles Peter and James, and than the twelve. There is wisdom when the Lord gives us certain friendships and places us in the body as He desires, but we must also find contentment in where we are placed, and realize it is His wisdom. I would be remiss not to mention the danger of cliques and those who isolate themselves into friendships that are most comfortable. To truly become family there will be those friendships that can be uncomfortable, but if we persevere the rewards will be great. Adversity allows us to grow in grace and love, but again may the Lord lead in all friendships.

Discipline:

There are times when the Lord will discipline, or speak into another’s life, but we should consider that discipline can be a lot safer coming from a team and those who are more mature. I have learned to be thankful for those who have brought correction and challenged areas of my life. At the time the discipline does not seem pleasant, however in Hebrews we are told discipline is part of the training, and remember the Fathers is trying spare us from missing our destiny and find true friendship with him, and in His body. Without certain disciplines some friendships are not possible.

Heb 12:10-11 Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Heb 12:6 For whom the LORD loves He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives."
NKJV

Finally:
If there is any lesson to be learned in these few paragraphs, may it be let us grow in understanding what mature love may look like and realize we will not be friends with everyone in our life. We need to allow the Lord to choose, and be open to whomever he gives us, but especially find rest and contentment with our place in the body. We need to allow those in authority to correct and speak into our lives, especially when they are part of a mature team. Beware those who want to correct and speak into your life when they are a leader who has the only say in a church. Beware individuals who always want to speak into your life, but they no place or recognition by a leadership team in any church, but are self proclaimed ministers, or those who just go from church to church without any covering.

We are in a time of great change in the church, and the love we are growing in with one another is how the world will now we are His disciples.

John 13:34-35 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. 35 By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."

NKJV

“Mature Love, The Preparation”

I had a number of emails and calls after the “Mature Love” article. A few questions about the heart, and what to do with areas the Lord reveals. Most of us are going through refining these days, and if your not, get ready as everything is being shaken again so we can bear more fruit. I will try and give a few nuggets of wisdom we have learned over the years. I say we, because after being in the same church for 18 years the journey has become more than just personal, although ones own life lessons and the word of our testimony especially helps us and others overcome. This is more a focus on the negative things that come out of our hearts and how to acknowledge them and allow the Lord to change us.

The Preparation!

Lets say you receive my newsletter, and before you even open it your heart simply deletes it, and you find yourself saying “I don’t want to hear what he has to say, or he’s just trying to correct me,” or some other area of judgment. Now I trust that would never happen with the many friends we have on our list. :o)
, but if it did “Do you recognize when these things come out of your heart, or do we justify what we believe about someone and allow these beliefs to taint our love and vision?”
This is exactly what the Apostle James was trying to address and correct in part of his letter. If we believe we have wisdom and love for someone, or about any given situation, then James gives a clarity how this would look. Let’s quickly establish a couple of truths to help us recognize one thing. Those who name the name of the Lord are for the most part sincerely trying to do His will and find His heart, and as the body we must have this foundation or our own life experiences, discernment, or judgments will always cause us to first evaluate and miss the Lords heart.

Love must come first before all revelations, correction, discernment, or we will not see clearly…..

1 Cor 12:3 Therefore I make known to you that no one speaking by the Spirit of God calls Jesus accursed, and no one can say that Jesus is Lord except by the Holy Spirit .
NKJV

The book of James gives us a clear picture of the heart, and what to do with areas that come up for change, but we must be willing to be totally real and vulnerable with ourselves, and with those key ones who can help us break though. In the last several years I have found truths spoken early in my life by mentors bearing fruit now, many years later. What is it that did not cause me to receive years ago, although I thought I was, but to see the change and transformation in recent years? I hope some things we look at here will help some of you take the short road.

James 3:13-16 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom. 14 But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth. 15 This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic.
NKJV

If you have the Fruit, you have the Root!

James is talking about relationships, and trying to help us see where deception dwells in our hearts, but he is also warning us to beware of some of these areas as they can be demonic. In verse 14 where he says “But if you have bitter envy and self seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth” We could also ad some terms like: Ambition, boasting, judgments, pride, murmuring, unbelief, and many more, James tells us to not “Boast and lie against the truth

In other words if you have the fruit you have a root issue that needs to be acknowledged to the Lord!!!

Prov 27:19 As in water face reflects face, So a man's heart reveals the man.
NKJV

Prov 16:1-2 The preparations of the heart belong to man, But the answer of the tongue is from the LORD . 2 All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, But the LORD weighs the spirits.
NKJV

Don’t lie and pretend it is not there, don’t boast and lie against the truth. The Lord already knows the issue is there, but He wants us to know so we can be transformed.

Heb 4:13 And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.
NKJV

We need to have a heart and response like King David, who when confronted with his sin did not hide, unlike Saul who was always blaming others when confronted. In (1 Sam 15) Saul is given instructions to destroy the Amalekites completely (Vrs 1). However by
( Vrs 9) Saul had already disobeyed and saved King Agag and the best of the livestock. In (Vrs 15) Saul’s heart is fully revealed when he does not take responsibility for his part, but blames the people. King David in complete contrast when confronted with His sin takes responsibility and declared:

2 Sam 12:13 So David said to Nathan,” I have sinned against the LORD.
NKJV

We have all been given revelation personally, and as a body truth has been revealed through many leaders and prophets corporately.

When we do not obey or tests come and our heart is exposed, to the degree we take complete ownership for what comes out of our hearts, is the degree we will be set free and released to the next level.


Can someone else force you to sin?

One area we really need to overcome is blaming others, and until we do maturity will never come. We need to take complete ownership for our own heart responses. In most cases we tend to blame others: They just don’t know who I am, they are unloving, it’s my parents fault, it’s my pastors issue, it’s my boss, etc, etc, etc

However, what comes out or our own heart is our responsibility, completely!

Let’s look at it this way. Sunday church service comes and you go to church full of joy. As you walk by a leader in church they seem to ignore you, and when you want to be close they are distracted by something they are doing and don’t give you that hug you need. As you walk away your heart is subtly offended, or you feel superior to them being unloving, or your hurt they ignored you. The usual response is to blame them, but did they force you think the way you do? Did they force you to sin? Or is what came out of your heart your responsibility? Something they did may have pushed your buttons, but if there was nothing in your heart but love, then love would be the response, but again these situations simply show us what is already there.

So we can be tempted to sin by others responses, but they did not force us to sin, circumstances simply allow us to see what is in our heart, if we are willing!

The lord was tested, tempted, beaten on the cross, yet without sin. When we have a pure heart then nothing will come out when tested, but when we are tested or circumstances allow what comes up is an opportunity for change. The Lord when tested never sinned as there was nothing in Him that the enemy or circumstances could expose.

1 Peter 2:19-23 For what credit is it if, when you are beaten for your faults, you take it patiently? But when you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently, this is commendable before God. 21 For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps: 22 "Who committed no sin,
Nor was deceit found in His mouth"; 23 who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously;
NKJV
John 14:30-31 I will no longer talk much with you, for the ruler of this world is coming, and he has nothing in Me .
NKJV

I tried 5 years ago….

Let me end with a couple things. About 8-9 years ago the Lord came to me during one of my prayer times and said “I want to change some areas of your life” I answered in a rather casual way by saying “Sure my life is yours.” His reply struck me to the core and broke something in me, and allowed the fear of the Lord to become my standard. I had taken a causal stance about the sins of my heart, and did not realize I had become hard hearted about my issues. I had lost something of the sensitivity I once had. I had lost my first love and did not even know it. The Lords reply was:

“I tried to change these areas in you 5 years ago and you would not let me, and if you do not allow me this time you will wander in the wilderness for another 5 years and then I will try again.”

A deep conviction hit my heart and I found myself on the ground for months during prayer in repentance and deep remorse for my sins. It was as though the Lord needed to warn me in a deep way out of His love for me so I did not walk in the wilderness for another 5 years.

Prov 28:13-14 “13 He who covers his sins will not prosper,
But whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.”

14 Happy is the man who is always reverent,
But he who hardens his heart will fall into calamity.
NKJV

There are at times two extremes of revelation about the Lord. One is the goodness of God and the Fathers great love for us. This can cause us to rest and find peace with our Father. The danger however is a casual approach to the sins of our life. You know God will understand “He’s my Father. The other extreme is the fear based gospel where one cannot rest and is always looking for something to repent for. Their fear drives them to strive for the Fathers love and rest seems far away. I have found the Lord desires us to be somewhere in the middle where we do find rest in His arms of love, but that deep understanding of the fear of the Lord keeps us from drifting to far into a tolerance of sin. He is after all a Holy God, and when He said “Be Holy for I am Holy” He meant it!

1 Peter 1:13-16 Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; 14 as obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance; 15 but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, 16 because it is written, "Be holy , for I am holy."
NKJV

Don’t Hide:

We have been hearing in this season especially how the Lord is in the process of revealing our hearts, and transforming us into His image. The danger in these times is hiding our sin and not bringing it to the light. If we truly walk in the light we will have fellowship with one another, but when we hide our sin, or issues from one another we make room for the enemy. Only as we walk in the light with him and one another will we be able to see clear. Don’t allow the enemy to decisive us into a religious performance of burying our sin, but rather bring it into the light. I used to have a religious habit of always saying “I’m fine” when asked by close friends or leaders. The truth was I was not, but wanted to be spiritual and have everyone think I was ok. Funny thing is the pastors used to know when I was struggling, so why not shorten the journey by being totally real and get prayer.

1 John 1:5-10 This is the message which we have heard from Him and declare to you, that God is light and in Him is no darkness at all. 6 If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin. 8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us.
NKJV

Again, if you think you have wisdom about any relationship or situation listen to what James said it should look like.

James 3:16-18 For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. 17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. 18 Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
NKJV

I trust the general idea the Lord wants to express is clear. Each area could be expanded, but my hope is we grasp the Lords desire for a deep change in this hour and allow Him to have His way…..

Bless you this holiday season,

John Elijah

“Mature Love”

(Part 1)

We have been hearing about unity, and messages of love are being shared from the pulpit. But what is mature love? How will the Lord cause us to grow in love and recognize where our love is immature and “Where we have not found rest in our place and relationships?” The Lord is clearly after us all to go deeper and become the mature man Paul talks about:

Eph 4:13-14 till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ;

The Greek word for stature here literally means “Maturity”, but it will take an ongoing revelation, and as we allow the Lord to take us deeper a more mature expression of the body will come to the light. No one has the full revelation of love, but along the way we have learned some things. My own journey, being around those who walk in love, and watching the immature as they walk out their own salvation has help with some areas of understanding.

A Recent Message:
Recently we had a powerful message about love in our church. I knew that the Lord was speaking, but I found myself at the back of the church trying to sense the Lords heart for the body as a whole. What are you saying Lord, the church seems unmoved? Being an exhorter and prophetic myself my heart at times leans towards wanting a response, but I also recognize something deep can be happening even in silence, and of course we have such different character in each of us. Some are naturally inclined to be loud and fun (Like the speaker) and some inclined to be quiet and reserved. I then realized that for many of us in relationship, especially the leadership team, there is a mature and deep love for one another, and during the message I knew the Lord was reminding us of that love. There did however come a warning to guard the love we have. I realized the lack of response by many was because we are at rest, and are aware of our place and find peace,

“But she also spoke about expansion and that is where the maturing love we have will need to affect the whole body for us to grow.”

It will need to filter from the Fathers, Mothers, and other leaders to mature the rest for the next steps. The growth of the body directly comes from the top down, or should I say the bottom up as we hold up the body to help each one mature. We are all called to love, but the strength of the five fold ministry in the church, and their love for each other is what equips the saints. ( More in part 3)

Two Extremes:

The immature: I remember when I first got saved, and for several years after, I was the greatest expression of the Fathers love I knew, or so I thought. I remember in my early days as a believer merrily going around hugging and getting to know everyone “Especially leaders.” My heart and mind was always looking for certain key leaders to be close to. I was always aware where they were in a meeting, and after the service was waiting for that special time with them. You see I was right up there in the same caliber of leadership, the most anointed and loving person in the church. What I did not realize was my desire was coming out of a deep need to be loved, and something in me was longing for love, “I just did not know it yet.”

The Mature in love come to place of rest and peace in their Heavenly Fathers deep care for them. They are content whether they get time with a leader or other person, and they can go weeks and months without interaction, and when they do connect they find a rest and joy at seeing one another as though they had been talking daily.

The Immature and needy will always want to remind the body of love, reading scriptures about love, and having a need to touch and know everyone around them. When a leader does not respond as they think, or a quieter person does not want a hug they enter into prayer for the body. They will be in prayer for those who do not love, and sitting in meetings their mind will be thinking “I hope these ones are getting this message”

The Mature: Will be thankful for the body. An appreciation and love for the body will be what flows from their heart. In a recent meeting where a younger leader jumped in to take announcements, although to many of us the Lord was clearly not done, I found myself praying, and just asking the Lord to help them grow and increase in awareness next time. In earlier years my sharp discernment and superior love would have brought me into deep prayer, and “loving judgment.” Their weaknesses would be the first thing I noticed, and next time “I’ll make sure the Lord has His way, and of course I’ll pray for their breakthrough. (There are places for correction and strong discipline; we will talk about that in part 3)

The Immature: Will have a need to attend every meeting they can. Their ambitions will find them looking for some way to be involved in “Ministry at these meetings” These are the ones always calling about this meeting or that as though they have some great part in it. These are ones who because of their great calling and superior love do not need to take care of less important things in life, like paying their bills, working, or serving in church. When you perhaps cannot go, kids you know, you’re missing God!

The Mature: are content being at meetings, and have a deep passion for the Lord, but they are also fine if they stay home, (As the Lord leads) with the family and minister to those closest to them. Did not the Apostle Paul talk to us many times about elders or leaders having their house in order?

The Immature: Will not be content under authority. Because of their great calling and remember that great love, they are always roaming from place to place. Looking for somewhere they can be involved, and if discipline comes from a leader in their life they will have to check with other sources if the word is true. They will find others with similar great love to agree with them, or someone not apart of the situation to ask loaded questions about what they have been asked to do, and when that person says, “That sounds like control not proper discipline” they will have their answer, not knowing their rebellion and witchcraft got the answer they desired.

The Mature: will walk with the body in humility, and when corrected, disciplined, or a suggestion for areas to change, they can receive it and simply say “Thanks for your love for me.” Even when that leader in their life may not see all, and the truth they share is only part of their life, they would never consider not receiving, but cover them and, “Never expose their Fathers weakness”

The Immature: Will find a need to correct their Fathers and Mothers. Their great love and fleshly zeal will seem mature, “whereas older leaders who have been more broken and dealt with by the Lord” can at times seem simple, or they weep more, or at times they say less, and the younger deep loving ones take notice that my Father is starting to miss it. I heard from a dear older pastor friend of mine recently how 3 younger leaders tried to kick him out of his church, saying your time is done! He stood his ground and they left, but let me assure you until they repent of their judgments, rebellion and come back and submit they will struggle the rest of their lives. As a matter of fact these young men are struggling in their growth. This older caring Father is being invited to city meetings, has a beautiful involvement and relationship with other pastors and leaders.

The Mature: will have a compassion, and be unhindered by others weaknesses. (It is here that the body must recognize which leader is to care for whom in the church. More later) they will however also understand the need for order to protect the body, but at the core of their heart is “love to see one redeemed and restored.” I remember as a young person going to my senior pastor about the young Father assigned to disciple me. As I proceeded to list my set of grievances, “Filled with love of course,” my pastor simply looked at me and said, “I don’t even think that way” There was a pause and something struck my heart. “He knows but love covers”

Times are Changing, Fast!

I have given a lot of examples, and there are many more scenarios we could look at, “but somewhere between these extremes we all are all say on a scale from 1-10” in our maturity and love. When we are able to judge ourselves and be aware by the Lords Grace where we do not love the entire body will suddenly mature. We are entering the hour of hearts being exposed and realignments happening.

Eph 4:15-16 but, speaking the truth in love , may grow up in all things into Him who is the head — Christ — 16 from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love .
NKJV

Paul 1 Cor 11:31 For if we would judge ourselves, we would not be judged .


When Paul wrote about us judging ourselves he was writing from 1 Cor chapter 11. Another time we will explore the hidden meanings behind this chapter, but let’s just look a couple things for now.
When we do not love, or recognize our place in the body, or do not recognize the body we will be immature and especially our own growth will be hindered.
Like when I shared about the 3 young rebels, who until their hearts understand honor and order, they will bear little fruit, which is obvious to all who know them. Paul warned us in this same chapter to discern the Lords body, or the warning is if we do not many will be weak and sickly among us.

1 Cor 11:29-32 For he who eats and drinks in an unworthy manner eats and drinks judgment to himself, not discerning the Lord's body. 30 For this reason many are weak and sick among you, and many sleep. 31 For if we would judge ourselves, we would not be judged.
NKJV

The Father wants us to feel His love!

Do you think the Father is interested in us experience his love in ever increasing dimensions? The very reason He came is so we can, and will. “In this season the increase is happening and we will be moved with Compassion” in ever increasing degrees for one another and for the lost.

Get ready, it is time to really grow up and mature. To those who are willing there is abundant grace, but remember this exhortation from James.

James 4:6 But He gives more grace. Therefore He says:” God resists the proud ,
But gives grace to the humble."
NKJV

Thanks to those who walk in this love and have learned to appreciated one another. Thanks to those who have had the courage to walk with the needy. May we continue to grow together, but more important may we see this same love filter throughout the body where we function and interact.

In Part 2 We will look at other areas of love, and where we have place in one another’s lives.
In Part 3 We will look at Apostolic church structure and how the body is fit together in love.

John Elijah